


Sacrifice

by Accal1a



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Episode Related, Episode: s02e16 Blood Must Have Blood Part II, Gen, Season Finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-13
Updated: 2015-03-13
Packaged: 2018-03-17 17:26:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3537878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Accal1a/pseuds/Accal1a
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Monty's thoughts before Clarke and Bellamy pulled the lever in the Season 2 Finale.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sacrifice

Monty had never before hated his brain. Hated how smart he was. Hated his probably dead parents for their genes. Hated the fact that he’d been imprisoned in Mount Weather. Hated that Clarke hadn’t done more to get them all out sooner. Hated that Clarke had seen him do so many technical things when they reached the ground that she picked him to go with her and Bellamy to the command centre.

He hated so completely he almost couldn’t see straight. 

He told himself that it didn’t matter if he was able to break through the code, break through the layers of security surrounding the air filtration systems. Even if he managed it, he never actually had to push that button; he could reverse it all and remove any trace he was even there, disappear after it was done and never have to tell anyone what might have been.

This was different than fighting for his life; this wasn’t the same as trying to stop people from taking his friends; this wasn’t struggling on a medical bed whilst his very core was extracted. This wasn’t one life of someone who he was directly fighting, this was hundreds of lives, some of whom had helped them all directly; some of whom were completely innocent; some of whom were children.

_He_ was just a child. He shouldn’t have this sort of responsibility. He shouldn’t have to think about these sorts of things. Shouldn’t even be in this situation at all. It felt like every moment on the ground had been an exercise in moral actions, there was no longer any ‘good’ plans, just ‘bad’ and ‘worse’. 

Then Jasper was led into the dorm and Monty’s resolve hardened, he suddenly wanted all of the mountain men dead. He remembered the pain, remembered feeling helpless and there was no way he was going to let Jasper feel that.

He made a small sound when he’d completed the work - shocked that he’d finished. He’d wanted it to have taken longer, wanted it to have been too much for his skills but now that Jasper was in the mix he just wanted it over.

He watched as Clarke and Bellamy agonised over the situation. Pleased in a way that at least they weren’t so far gone that this decision was easy for them.

He willed Clarke to push the lever and she still hesitated. He wanted to shout at her, wanted to ask her what was taking so long but in the end he didn’t have to, Bellamy did it for him with kind words which, Monty thought, was probably for the best.

Watching the monitor, he saw Jasper remove his bonds and was confused as to why he was free. Then he saw the radiation leak through as he had planned. He saw all the guards fall to the floor and he saw his best friend realise what had happened. He saw his best friend tear out of the room without even stopping to help any of the others. Monty knew that the only thing that could have caused that speed was someone in trouble and if it wasn’t the people in the room who had just been tortured in trouble he knew exactly who it was.

It was only then that Monty wondered where Maya was. Had she been on Level 5 when this had happened? Had he killed his best friend’s girlfriend? Was the cost of saving Jasper’s life the loss of their friendship? Was the cost too high?

No.

Jasper alive and in this world was infinitely better even if that meant he never spoke to him again.

He may have killed hundreds but he’d wounded one and that he would have to live with. Damn him but he wasn’t sure what was worse and suddenly he didn’t know who he was anymore. Because it had always been him and Jasper against the world, for as long as he could remember and he didn’t know who he was without him, didn’t want to know who he was.

When they found Jasper, sobbing over the newly dead Maya, the apologetic words he offered sounded empty even to him.

What he _meant_ was: “I’m sorry this happened but you were more important.” “I’m sorry this happened, that I put her life before yours.” “I’m sorry this happened but I couldn’t watch you die.” “I’m sorry this happened but I wanted to spare you the pain of torture.” “I’m sorry this happened but I was selfish and I couldn’t lose you.”

What he saw in his best friend’s eyes was a fire beyond anything he had ever seen before and certainly nothing that he had ever seen directed at him.

At that moment Monty knew that everything had changed. Perhaps a dead Jasper would have been better than a Jasper unable to look at him.

He really wasn’t sure; but he said goodbye to Jasper at that moment just in case, mourned his loss as if he really had died because there really had been a fatality. He had killed the one thing in his life that he cherished above all else.

_May we meet again._


End file.
